SENIOR DATING…BABY BOOMER STYLE

While on Facebook, I read an article about online dating and how it’s different for the over 55 crowd, because we have some unique priorities.  I haven’t really experienced online dating firsthand, but I have toyed with the idea and skimmed through a few “profiles.”  Something has always held be back.  First of all, I don’t like the idea of having to pay for a man’s attention whether it be email exchange, phone calls or an actual meeting.  Secondly it all feels so contrived.  First dates are awkward enough without the added pressure of never having laid eyes on each other.  Sure, you can exchange pictures in advance, but they might be sending you a picture of themselves that’s ten years old, photoshopped or even of someone else.  Not that a picture tells the whole story about someone’s looks anyway.  I have encountered people that, while not conventionally attractive, can light up a room with their smile or change an impression with their kindness or make me laugh so hard, I totally forget about ears or bellies that stick out too far.  In my youth, looks were right up there when it came to what I looked for in a man.  This train of thought led me to marry two very attractive men with hearts that did not match at all.  I’m not saying every good looking person cheats or gets involved with drugs or ends up in prison (am I giving too much away here?).  My two examples are extreme and there’s just as many homely men who might go down those same paths.  My point is I was hyper focused on looks and style and captivating charm to the exclusion of the qualities that really mattered.  What can I say?  I was a big dummy in that department, and I paid the price for it.  I thought bad boys were all that, and now, in my “old age,” I would run as far as I could from senior versions of these guys if my running days weren’t behind me.  Okay…I would walk as fast as my legs could carry me in the opposite direction.

One dating site that I actually contemplated joining  was for “country folk” who loved nature and the simple life.  I’m a bit of a nature freak, and I thought those types would be a good fit for my personality as opposed to slick, smooth, CEO types who wouldn’t be digging on an old school hippie type anyway.  That is until I started reading a few of the ads from over 55 prospects.  One of them proclaimed that he wanted a woman who would run to him, throw herself into his arms (presumably he would be able to catch her) with her hair streaming behind her in the gentle breezes of the farm.  She would also ride horses, help corral steeds and be just as comfortable on the back of a motorcycle as in a fine restaurant.  As I read on it began to occur to me that maybe I wasn’t as suited for the farm/ranch life as I had originally thought.

Back to this new dating site that I discovered on FB.  It’s called Tapestry, and it gave about 12 main points on why seniors have different values and needs than their 18-35-year-old single counterparts.  Some very valid points were made, and it really sounds like they’ve done their research and gotten feedback from some actual seniors.  For one thing, it was realistic.  I mean honestly how many senior ladies are going to be taking a running leap into a man’s arms unless they are old school members of the flying Walendas?  By the same token, how many gentlemen of a certain age are going to be able to catch these ladies who, very likely, have added a few extra pounds with the years?  Not many, I would venture to say.  More likely they would both land on a pile of horse manure, which would only slightly cushion the blow to their backsides and egos.  See what I mean?  Not very realistic at all.  Already, among the faint of heart, when it comes to exposing my vulnerable side, I am unlikely to respond to one of those ads.

Anyway if there’s more to say about this Tapestry website, I will follow up with another post.  I believe they are on the right track and if respondants will just keep it real instead of claiming to be an oil baron, a beauty queen or sending in a picture of their grandchild, it could turn out to be a good thing.

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