I recently read about a 42-year-old middle school teacher who gave one of her male students a lap dance.  Before you deem this type of behavior inappropriate, allow me to mention an extenuating circumstance.  It was, after all, the young man’s birthday, and the dance was the teacher’s way of acknowledging it.  So much more innovative than singing a song or bringing cupcakes to class.

This impromtu dance number was witnessed by all the other students, and when the teacher was chastised for what some would call : A) crazy, B) mind boggling, C) immoral, D) all three times 100, she explained that the other students had encouraged the X-rated entertainment.  Well, gee, that totally explains it.  It’s hard to get the kids to be attentive in class these days, so why not give them a vote in what goes on at school and make it a democratic process?  I’m quite sure the performance kept the kids engaged, and isn’t that what every good teacher strives for?  After the dance ended this “teacher of the year” candidate hopped off the student’s lap after merrily proclaiming “I love you baby!”  Now that’s enthusiasm and shows a caring attitude as well, so kudos to her!

I was still shaking my head over these antics when I recently read about a substitute teacher being fired for soliciting dating advice from her fourth grade class.  Honestly, this seems pretty mild in comparison to the exotic dancer/teacher.  Still teachers are not being paid to make relationship coaches out of nine-year-olds.  Is the concept of reading, writing, and rythmetic becoming too old school for school?  When confronted  about her questionable teaching tactics, this advice-seeking educator insisted that the children enjoyed the role playing activities, and that they were helping her decide between the two men she was currently involved with.  Now that’s what I call a win-win situation.

When I was in the fourth grade, teachers seemed so far removed and from life outside the classroom that I was always amazed to spot one in the market or at a restaurant.  “What are you doing here, Ms. Birnbaum?”  I once asked in an incredulous voice upon seeing a teacher outside of class.  Teachers were one dimensional beings.  They were not given to cavorting with their charges.  They were remote and not usually very approachable. You certainly did not greet them with a “Yo, can I get a lap dance?”  You were lucky to get a gold star or a bathroom pass.     They did not ask for or offer dating advice and take whatever you said to heart as if you were their peer.

I won’t even touch on the topic of teachers who not only have the hots for their underage charges but don’t seem to have an issue with taking it to the next level.  That’s a whole other post.  All I can say is school sure isn’t what it used to be.




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