It’s been a minute since I created a new post. Even worse, it’s been a long while since I’ve even had the desire. I have been fairly diligent about typing 1,000 words several times a week. Kind of an arbitrary number, I guess, but I had read somewhere that if you are going to call yourself a writer, you have to be rigidly disciplined about those thousand words, every day, at least every day you can stagger to the computer barring unforeseen emergencies such as imminent childbirth, which is not likely to happen in this household and most particularly to this member.
It would be a bleak day indeed if I couldn’t call myself a writer to other life forces but, even more so, to myself, but even those thousand words are not the priority they were when I first read that little admonition. Panic stricken about non-writer status, I would do my due diligence on a daily basis. Gradually I started making excuses. A smidgin of clinical depression here, talk of four blood moons there, a desire to create triple fudge brownies that I could consume, rather than write about. You get the idea…
Yesterday I attended a prayer meeting at a friend’s church, which has just started up. The first lady (I have to say I’ve never been partial to that term, cause it makes the other women in the congregation seem like chopped liver (sixth lady, seventh lady?) told me she would help me promote my blog. Not sure exactly how that happens or if she will even like my blog, Sarcasm and light cynicism are not everyone’s cup of tea, but perhaps, just maybe, a flicker of hope invaded my passivity and I thought, “By golly, maybe she can do that.”
I have also been very belatedly coming to the conclusion that maybe I’m just a teeny bit hard on myself in the way I assess my productivity on this planet. A friend and I were discussing this morning that our fathers did not set us up to be valued and cherished by ourselves or any other man, which caused us to act accordingly with boyfriends and husbands, a topic I have been addressing sporadically for a very long time. Yeah, she and I and so many others really were at an extreme deficit and encumbered by so many issues a woman was never created to face. I know it sounds like I’m wandering off on a tangent here, but I think these issues adversely affect the calling in our lives. At the very least, they are significantly delayed. The other night I heard Joel Osteen say “You don’t have to be strong all the time.” Such a simple statement, and we all know that. right? But I don’t think I did, and it actually felt quite liberating.
I have so much to write about, and I think I’m going to write for awhile without over thinking things. just like this post and maybe my words will illuminate my path and lead me to where God wants me to go, creating a thread of light even in the darkest nights.